I've added another practitioner. Not a new practice, just a new practitioner. And he's amazing. A massage therapist with a brilliant touch. With savvy wisdom. He was the first to point out that my current limping had everything to do with my compulsive Barbie foot stance while sitting. You know, the toe pointed, rather than foot flat on the floor.
My pilates trainer has been talking about the importance of feet for years. Really using the whole foot, stretching the foot, engaging the arches, relaxing into gravity rather than clenching. But it was the new guy who immediately grasped how weirdly I was sitting all day in the new gig. Unconsciously. So I started paying more attention, started becoming more conscious. But it's still been a problem. And tonight he took it farther. "You know contracting is often the way the body tries to avoid feeling something." Yeah, ok, new age stuff. I know there's a mind/body connection! I have no doubt about that. I've experienced too much that's interesting in that area.
As I relaxed into the deepest relaxation I felt the most profound relief. The body tenses unconsciously and that causes ill effects. I always love massage but the relief from this deep strong massage combined with my own very deep breathing was true bliss. "You know," he said, "what you're feeling is what you're feeling. It's helped by what I'm doing but really, it's what you're capable of feeling." Kind of a mind fuck -but what a great goal! To get as blissed out through my own means? An idea very worth pursuing.